About Adrian

Coming to see a counsellor (or coach or consultant) can feel like a big step. It can be hard to know whether I will be the right fit for you. And, in truth, you won’t know that for sure until you have met me (which you can do for free – see more here).

So, let me take some time to describe at least a little about who I am, what I know (and how I  know it) and some of the things I have dealt with in my own life.

I am in my early fifties, married with two adult children and living happily here in Bayside Melbourne. Being this age is great - I am not yet old, but I have had a lot of significant experiences that have made me who I am and informed my view of the world.

What Uni Taught Me

I started work at 15 and have always worked while I studied. I have degrees in Commerce and Law and a Post-Graduate Diploma in Psychology. There are two ‘standard’ diplomas in there as well (in Financial Services and Workplace Training).

I also read a lot and even had a book published in the 2000’s, as well as doing some writing for the financial press. The book is out of print but some of my articles can still be seen on the Invest Smart website.

What Work Taught Me

My work life has mostly been spent helping people, with a few bouts of commercial work thrown in for variety (and the better pay!). My helping work started in the East Kimberley working with indigenous communities. It has moved through helping people with intellectual and psychosocial disabilities (and their families), many years of private practice psychology and, more recently, the NDIS, where I have specialised in helping people and families with particularly complex disabilities.

My commercial work has centred around financial services. There was an initial spell with a ‘Big Six’ accounting firm, as they were known then. Subsequently, I have owned and operated a substantial training organisation, been a consultant to the medical profession and worked as a financial adviser. Most of my commercial work has been entrepreneurial as the business founder and owner.  I do not see myself as that much of a risk taker, but other people looking at my career disagree.

As a young man I thought that I had chosen the wrong Uni course and was washed up at 21! That was, of course, way too dramatic, but nevertheless it meant I needed to recreate my professional life pretty much from scratch. There have been two more 'reinventions' since, leading me through a series of really interesting work challenges. My work has led to business failure as well as success. It’s given me exposure to good bosses and crappy bosses (and the chance to be each of these myself). I have worked on my own and led teams of 20+ people. I have loved my job and hated my job (sometimes it was the same job, although not usually on the same day). 

Work has always had it’s complexity, which helps with the work I do now.

What Life Taught Me!

Five decades of life brings its own sets of experience for all of us. My experiences have been as varied as anyone’s. A lot has gone right in my life and I have been in many ways very lucky. But not always. Life has had its challenges, not just for me but for the people I love as well.

If you are reading this you are probably going through some tough times yourself. So, let me give you a sense of the challenges that have informed who I am today. No one gets through life unscarred. Here’s where some of mine came from. I hope that reading this will help you to feel encouraged that things can get better. 

To start with, I grew up around significant disability. This was obviously harder for my siblings than for me, but I saw their experiences right up close. This stays with you and teaches you ‘in your bones’ how to notice that life is not the same for everybody. Nor is it fair. I have also had a very privileged seat watching these men I know so well overcome their hurdles and enjoy their lives, with a trade, three Uni degrees and eight kids between them. 

The family I have since created with my wife and kids is smaller but no less happy and I am super-proud of my kids and their Mum. That said, parenting always leaves some scars - it is not for the faint hearted! I still wince remembering those times as a parent when I felt completely inept but had to keep going. Or the times when I was worried sick but couldn’t do anything but hang on. I have lived the truth in the saying that ‘you are only as happy as your least happy child.’ Happily, my now adult kids still seem to like me. We muddled through. 

I have had a parent die quite young, and supported the other through the various stages of aging to now be living in a nursing home and well into her tenth decade. I have had to learn all about the management of cognitive decline and the aged care system as a result. It is not a simple system (or a system built for people experiencing cognitive decline)! 

I supported my wife after the traumatic death of her mother and the protracted aftermath of Coronial hearings, Police investigations, etc. As a couple we have supported close friends who've found out their children are disabled, or even lost their children altogether, and we have supported friends and family through the end of marriages or the loss of livelihoods. Like most people our age, we have been in the thick of things. 

Through everything that has happened, but especially the hard stuff, I have benefited from talking things through with trusted allies, both paid and unpaid. I have learnt much from hearing their perspective, gaining knowledge I did not know I needed and feeling the sensational support of knowing I have someone capable in my corner. I have really enjoyed feeling heard. 

That’s the approach I bring now to my work - to hear and support others as they go through their own hard times. If that is what you need, please feel free to drop me a line. I look forward to hearing from you.